11 things in 4 years!

Well for those of you who don't know....TODAY IS MY ANNIVERSARY! OOPS! OUR Anniversary! :) Kameron & I are celebrating 4 years of wedded bliss....TODAY!

It may not seem like a long time to some of you, but considering that half of today's marriages end in the "d" word, every day longer that someone is married is an accomplishment! :)

So I decided to write a list of 11 things that I have learned in 4 years! :) ENJOY!

1. Its so awesome always having your best friend by your side! I am the first to admit I have a lot of best friends and I love each of them dearly! However, Kameron is a best friend too! He is the best friend I never knew I was missing! This is not a slam to my other best friends, but instead a praise to Kameron! :)

2. Pick your battles. Honestly we don't fight alot, really its rare, to be truthful I couldn't remember the last time we had a major disagreement. Anyhow, in any relationship you need to pick your battles. This is true with your kids, boss, dogs....you get the idea! :) So I pick my battles with my husband also, I choose what I am going to nag on him about or what I am going to whine about....no one enjoys constant nagging or whining. We all pick our battles everyday, be wise about the ones you choose! :)

3. Talk about it. This is simple, if something is wrong or bothering you....TALK ABOUT IT! You might have noticed, I am a bit of a chatterbox, my husband is not, but sometimes its good to get it out in the open.  We both agree on this simple principle. And the sooner I realized Kameron is not a mind reader and I needed to talk about things, the better off we were! :)

4. Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti. The sooner I learned this, the better we were. Honestly, its a book. READ IT! :) Kameron and I both read it and both laughed and loved it. Its fascinating how to understand how eachother's brains work. VERY GOOD READ and really helped me understand that when Kameron is doing something, THAT IS WHAT HE IS DOING. Example, when he is driving, HE IS DRIVING! Hello just like a waffle.... When I am driving, I am singing, talking on my phone, planning the meals, talking to Kynlee, waving, looking at my nails, wondering if I took the clothes out of the dryer, remembering that I need to make an eye appointment....okay you get the idea. I am spaghetti! :) I know you understand.

5. Date Night. We found this one to be even MORE important after having Kynlee, it was easy before to "date" each other, however now it is more difficult. But we are trying hard to get it figured out and make sure we take time for eachother. Even if its just putting Kynlee to bed early and watching a movie. Simple, but very meaningful for both of us.

6. Doing something each day that makes their life easier. Even if its just starting Kameron's toast for him while he goes and gets the paper and starts his car. I am up anyhow, it takes no additional effort to start his breakfast for him. I try to think of at least one thing that can help him out each day. He does the same for me a million times a day, so I can repay the favor at least once!

7. Be honest about money. I love to spend, thats no secret. I LOVE TO SPEND! But its important to be honest about what I am spending money on. I haven't always been the best at this, but I am working hard to be more honest. When we finally decided we would go from a two income family to a one income family I had to be REAL honest at where our money was going. I still handle the bill paying, but knowing that we are budgeting things more, I need to be honest. Its a challenge some days! :)

8. Do things we are good at. Okay this probably displays my OCD more than I would like, however, its the truth. Kameron knows that I am not good at shoveling, raking, fixing cars or other things like that, so he does them. I know that Kameron is not rockstar (he will admit this!!!) at cleaning the bathroom, planning, organizing and other things like this, so I do them. Part of that is my OCD, I am the first to admit it, but I LIKE doing those things. Yes probably a little gender stereotypical, which I typically despise, but it works for us. We like to stick to things we are good at, which so far has worked pretty well. Kameron & I know that if I tried to change the oil, the car would never start again, or if he cleaned the toilet, I would go back and do it my way (yes THAT is my OCD!) :) Do what works, its a happier house! :)

9. Bite your tongue. I am sure he and I could back talk each other in the heat of a disagreement, but we choose not to. Part of that is now that we have Kynlee we are choosing to set an example for her. I saw plenty of marital fights in my first 10 years of life and have chosen to not have my child see that. It really stresses a child out (trust me on this one!) We try to live by the "Children live what they learn...." philosophy. My mom had that hanging in our home growing up and it really struck a cord to me...I searched on line and found something similar to what we had hanging up....if you haven't seen it...enjoy, it makes you think...CLICK HERE! :)

10. Know when to be honest. Now I know that everytime I ask Kameron how an outfit looks on me and he says, "great" he probably doesn't think that I look like I am ready for the prom. However I look great in his eyes. Its a rare occasion that he tells me, that maybe i should change. However when it comes to clothes, I am VERY honest with him. For example, no brown shoes with a black outfit. I am just playing on a strength of mine and a "not-so" strength of his! :) Trust me, he will admit it. But the one time I have to thank Kameron hands-down for the most honesty a person has ever given me. Shortly before we got married, we were living in the "ice box" rental house (NOT EVEN KIDDING! IT WAS COLD!!!) And it was about 6 weeks after Peanut had passed and I was having a VERY emotional night. Not that this was a shock, as to be expected I had many emotional nights, mornings, afternoons...DAYS! Anyhow back to the story, Kameron looked at me and grabbed my hand and said....(and I remember this exactly as it happened!) "I love you, and I will listen whenever you want to talk, but I think you might need some professional help" I was a little put off at first. I mean really, what was he saying? I was crazy in the head? Professional help? He is the one who needs help! However, after a minute, I agreed! I did need help, I needed someone to talk to. Someone who would help me sort out what was going on in my head. This January marked 4 years since I started seeing my Crazy Doctor (yes she knows I call her this!) and it has changed my life for the better. I owe Kameron everyday for helping me realize I needed to talk to someone. I see her about once a month to every six weeks and I can tell when its been too long and I can tell how much better I am afterwards. I honestly think she saved my marriage AND my life. Some people might be embarrassed to say they have spoke with a professional and I am not saying that everyone should. However, I was dealt some sour lemons in life and am really happy to have someone to talk to about it and sort it all out. We realized I have a fast brain, that doesn't slow down...EVER and so knowing this I have learned things to do to cope and things to do to help Kameron cope. One day I was running around the house like a crazy lady (honestly, it was a sight!) and Kameron grabbed my shoulders and said, "Hey fast brain, lets take a minute and slow down!" Its wonderful that with his honesty I was able to get the help I needed. :) Thanks hun, you are a gem! :)

11.  Laughter is the best medicine! I cannot take credit for this one, Kameron is the the comedian in our family, he ALWAYS makes he laugh. No matter what crazy mood I am in, he is always making me slap a smile on my face. He is amazing and I am so lucky to have someone who constantly makes me smile. He is so silly and even when I am wearing my crabbiest pants, he turns my frown upside down! I am very grateful for this ability my husband has been given, he sure lightens up our days! :)


There are my 11! :) I am not saying we have the perfect marriage. We don't, I don't even think there is such a thing that as a "Perfect Marriage!" However, its perfect for us. So do what works for you, do what makes your marriage perfect for you! :)

Thank you for reading my 11 lessons in 4 years, I know there a million more lessons to go! Thank you for everyone who has stood by us as we began this journey 4 sweet years ago in the middle of cold February (who gets married then anyhow!) and those who have been there for us every day since. You rock! Kameron and I have tons of friends and families with awesome marriages who serve as great examples for us to follow. So thank you for that! :)

If you haven't found your better half, don't lose hope....he/she is out there! :)

Until next time, HAVE A HAPPY DAY! :)